![]() …when you feel genuinely threatened, you can scarcely see beyond what’s right in front of you. We get so caught up in what we’re saying that it can be nearly impossible to pull ourselves out of the argument in order to see what’s happening to ourselves and to others. In truth, most of us do have trouble dual-processing (simultaneously watching for content and conditions - especially when both stakes and emotions are high. I have known a thousand scamps but I never met one who considered himself so. Clarify what you don’t want, add it to what you do ant, and ask your brain to start searching for healthy options to bring you to dialogue.Ĭh.4: Learn to Look.Break free of these Fool’s Choices by searching for the and.Watch to see if you’re telling yourself that you must choose between peace and honesty, between winning and losing, and so on.As you consider what you want, notice when you start talking yourself into a Fool’s Choice.And finally, ask: “How would I behave if this were what I really wanted?”. ![]() Ask yourself: “What do I want for myself? For others? For the relationship?”
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